Embrace reality and deal with it

  • Be hyperrealist - pursue practical dreams that lead to human progress and avoid impractical idealism
  • We learn and evolve through a feedback loop of doing stuff (building stuff, making decisions) and getting feedback from reality (outcomes, feedback from others)
  • Accelerate this process by iterating fast, giving yourself more surface for feedback, targeting it to where you need it most, and making the best of it
    • Be radically transparent - be yourself, don’t be afraid to put your ideas out there
    • Be radically open-minded - seek ideas and feedback that contradict your view of the world and yourself (from believable sources)
    • Embrace failure and pain - seek challenging situations, take the time to reflect on the pain that comes with failure
    • Take full responsibility for your outcomes - avoiding accountability protects your ego but prevents you from learning
    • Acknowledge your weaknesses - you can turn them into strengths, delegate your way out of them, or redefine what you do to get around them, but don’t ignore them
  • Equations
    • Dreams + reality + determination = impact
    • Pain + reflection = progress

Five step iterative process to get what you want out of life

  • The process
    • Have clear goals - prioritize ruthlessly
    • Identify and don’t tolerate problems - they are opportunities for improvement
    • Diagnose problems to get at their root causes - look at yourself and the people your work with as objectively as possible
    • Design a plan - going through the planning process is more important than details of the plan, it surfaces potential problems and brings accountability (who does what by when)
    • Push through to completion - establish clear metrics, don’t lose sight of the goals while executing
  • Clearly delineate between steps
  • Be clear about where in the process you are weakest and work or around it

Be radically open-minded

  • The two biggest barriers to good decision making are your ego and your blind spots
  • Cultivate the humility to recognize that you often don’t know - an ability to deal with this fact is one of the most important capabilities you can develop
  • Decision making is a two step process: first take in all relevant information (by asking the right questions to believable people while suspending judgment), then decide
  • Appreciate the art of thoughtful disagreement: the objective is not to convince the other person but to arrive at the truth together - ask questions, stay calm and dispassionate, describe back what you’re hearing, don’t interrupt
  • Determine whether you should act as a student, a teacher, or a peer depending on your level of believability
  • Triangulate your views with believable people who are willing to disagree - thoughtful disagreement with an expert or between experts is the best way to learn
  • Recognize the signs of closed and open mindedness
    • Defensiveness vs. curiosity about conflicting opinions
    • Statements vs. questions
    • Focus on being understood vs. understanding others
    • Spend more time speaking vs. listening
    • Overconfidence vs. humility
  • How to become radically open-minded?
    • Use feelings of anger or frustration as cues to slow down
    • Get to know your blind spots - record the situations in which you’ve made bad decisions
    • When a number of believable people disagree with you, assume you are probably biased